Phased
by Damn Twilight
Summary: Bella was left to take care of herself, she didn’t know what was happening when she hit puberty. She was scared and alone her whole life. Does it turn around for her when a strange and new family comes to Forks? I suck at summaries, It's better than this.
1. PreFace

**Summary**

Bella Swan wasn't a normal girl, her life was literally falling apart. Her dad was never there for her, drinking his life away in sorrow. That his wife had left him. Her mom was 1000 miles away probably re-married and had a new family whom she loved so dearly. Bella was left to take care of herself, she didn't know what was happening when she hit puberty. She was scared and alone her whole life…

She may be one of the most beautiful girls at Forks High, But she blocks out everyone.  
Bella only keeps to herself, But will this new gorgeous looking boy get to her?  
Does it turn around for her when a strange and new family comes to Forks?  
Will he save her from her thoughts to end her life?

Okay so I know it's a bit of a downer, this story but I was inspired by a song, that I might tell you readers later.  
I thought I would let you people see into someone's life that is less fortunate, that is full of pain.  
I know a lot of people have done stories along these lines, But I am hoping mine will be different.

So here it is, and enjoy and please review it will make me want to write another chapter sooner.


	2. Chapter One

**Bella's point of view.**

I looked in my mirror at my reflection, I really didn't care what I was wearing I really didn't care what I looked like. People at school told me I was beautiful, all I did was shrug them off and ignore them. I was good at blocking people, and unnecessary things out of my mind. But as my life was crashing down on me, painful images flashed through me, like a slide show.

My mom leaving me and Charlie in the dust, not caring what her absence was doing to the both of us.  
I cooked his meals and I cleaned his house, but every night after he ate the food he would get dunk and pass out, Not wanting to deal with reality I imagined. I could do the same, of course, he wouldn't be able to get mad at me, I understood why he was doing it, but I had a different way of relief.

I found mine in a knife that sits in my room, in my desk drawer. Both Charlie and I dealt with things differently and this was mine. I wore my black tank top and my loose gray zip up sweater over it to hide what I did to myself. I wore my dark blue jeans and slipped into my too worn shoes. I traced the dark circles under my eyes and stepped away from the mirror. I didn't get much sleep last night due to my burning wrist and the hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach. I had pale skin, practically translucent. It was clear all the time, I never once remember having a zit. My eyes were big and chocolate brown. It looked like I had bruises underneath from lack of sleep. I had long dark brown hair going to my bust line, it was dead straight and hung down perfectly, my bangs swept to the side, falling over my left eye, It was layered a few times I guess it looked pretty, but honestly I only made myself look half normal on the outside so people wouldn't catch on to my crumpled up life. I was skinny, yet not too skinny and unlike my mother I didn't have any smile lines, for I usually didn't smile, unless I was pretending for the teaching staff.

I grabbed my backpack skipping breakfast, which was becoming a habit of mine and walked into the light drizzle. I unlocked my car and got in, revving the engine and pulling out onto the street. It didn't take me long to get to Forks High School, and as soon as I was there, I wished I had just skipped. I hated it here, where people judged each other like they were on trial or something. Here I was known as the beautiful girl who doesn't speak to anyone like she is afraid of them. Only they don't know the half of it. They don't know that my family fell apart leaving me scared and bruised, nothing yet healing, just open and making me suffer. I am sure if I told other people they wouldn't get it, and just think I was a cry baby.

But I loved my father and my mother so much, that when my mom left, she took all of me with her. I was basically just a body that was wondering aimlessly around. I don't even know why I am still here. I should just do away with myself, it's not like anyone would really even care.

I bit my lip pulling my sleeve up and tracing the dark gashes that were already healing. I took a deep breath and got out of the truck. Slinging my bag over my shoulder and heading inside.

People still looked at me like I was something good to eat, and I hated it. I frowned and headed into my first class. English. I sat at the back, taking out my notebook and doodling. I didn't really have an interest in school, and as much as I hated it, it was better than staying at home, constantly being reminded of my past.

I sighed when the final bell rang and everyone filed into the room. Nobody sat with me, and for that I was grateful, I didn't have to deal with pushy people trying to pry into my life. I honestly didn't really pay any attention to the latest gossip or what was going on. I mostly just stayed in my own head, thinking about what I was going to do with my life. I honestly can't see it going on much longer.

Mr. Taylor started talking and I looked up only half paying attention. I don't really know how long it had been into class when one of our councilors came in interrupting him. She held a paper slip and handed it to Mr. Taylor who raised his eyebrows and looked at all of us. I made a face and looked back at my paper, I started to sketch the person in front of me, only because they were easy to draw. Before my mom left me she had taught me a few things about art. I was actually really good, in-spite of myself. I drew a lot to take my mind off of other things. Just as I looked up to get the guys hair right I saw someone coming in. A girl at that. She was short had inky black hair and was very beautiful, She stood at the front looking around, as our teacher introduced her.

Apparently her name was Alice Cullen. A lot of the boys were whispering about her, well I guess you couldn't really call it whispering since I could even here them. He told her to take a seat near where I sat, and I rolled my eyes. I wasn't in the mood to converse. I looked back down at my paper and returned to drawing, The girl sat quite close to me, but she never even looked my way. I let out a big gust of air, mentally thanking her for not talking. I would have ignored it anyways. I kind of felt bad for her though, everybody kept twisting in their seats to look back. I shook my head, I mean I know she is gorgeous and makes me along with everyone else look like cows, but they are being absurd. Being the Hippocrates I am I looked at her for a fraction of a second. She had striking topaz eyes and pale skin, she wore expensive looking clothes and all her features were abnormally straight. She looked like she could be a model. No a model wasn't a strong enough word for her, more like an angel I guess?

Sometime between my gawking I realized that I actually didn't look away, and what snapped me out of my insane thoughts was the bell. I looked back down at my paper and packed my things up, I didn't look at the new girl anymore and I was just hoping that this was the only class of mine she was in.

I walked out of English and headed towards the parking lot, I didn't want to go to government or Spanish so I was going to skip those ones and just go to biology this afternoon. It was the only class I was even remotely close to liking. I ran to the forest and decided I would wait out the morning there.

I had my knife in my backpack so maybe I could take my mind off my pitiful life for a few minutes or so. I walked quite deep into the green forest and found a fallen down tree I could sit on. I dropped my pack and looked around hugging my stomach. When my mom first left two years ago I had a numb feeling that I loved so dearly. It made everything easier and when I cut myself the numb feeling came back for a couple of hours. I smiled to myself not something I usually did and took my knife out, looking forwards to the feeling that followed.

I pulled up my sleeve and looked at my already cut up wrist. I just went higher and took the blade pressing down on my skin harshly. Tears leaked down my cheeks silently as I dragged it across, blood oozed out and I shut my eyes, I let it drip on the tree away from where I sat, I took deep breaths the tears still leaking out of my eyes. I raised the knife and right beside the other one I dragged the sharp blade again. After that I dropped it and let all my emotions run wild.

* * *


	3. Chapter Two

I reached in to my backpack and grabbed a towel I kept in there for occasions like this.

I applied pressure to where I had just sunk the blade in, and bit my lower lip. It had to stop bleeding sooner or later. I held my wrist for a few minutes and then picked up the knife, wiping the blood on the towel and sticking it in the small pocket that was inside my pack. I slung it over my shoulder and started walking back to school, I had been out in the forest for quite sometime and should be getting back.

The numb feeling was almost entirely there, I could barely feel anything, so I should be good for the rest of the day. I new I needed to feel numb at least once a day for me to get through it. I mean I usually cry myself to sleep and then I am out for a good five hours, but not much more than that.

I signed and pressed the towel harder on my wrist then lifted it up to see if it had stopped. It hadn't, The sick rusty, salty smell was reaching me. It dripped on the ground so I slowed my pace again applying as much pressure to it as possible, It usually stopped bleeding after ten minuets, so I should be fine by the time I get to school. I will ask the nurse before I go in to biology if I can get a bandage. She knows I am kind of a klutz anyways, she will just think I fell or something, never does ask thank god for that!

I looked around, the greenness of the forest was oddly inviting to me and I breathed in the woodsy smell. In the forest it felt like nothing was going on with me. Like I was normal. Like I had a mother who loved me and a father who loved both of us, In the forest I forgot how my life completely sucked ass.

When the pain became over whelming I usually just wondered out here. Where peace still had hope.

I closed my eyes and stood still, pressing hard on my wrist again, I took in the smell with pleasure and the numb feeling was just adding all the more to it.

I started to walk again almost to the parking lot. I stopped a few feet from it and took the towel off. Just like I had said my cuts stopped bleeding and I was fine. As long as I was careful with it, I would be fine.

I stuffed the towel in to my backpack and headed for the lunch room, It should still be lunch and I was kind of hungry. I jogged towards the building hoping the bell wouldn't ring and grabbed a tray, putting an apple on it along with a fruit bowl and a bottle of lemonade. It was fairly cheep. People looked my way, well mainly because I was the only on standing in the room. Everyone else had bought their lunches already and were seated. I raised my eyebrows and looked at the floor hoping I wouldn't trip.

I made my way to a table that was empty and opened my lemonade. I took a sip getting out my notebook and a pencil. I looked around for something fun to draw while taking a small bite of my apple.

The numb feeling was really affective I felt like I was in my own bubble, like for once nothing could hurt me. It felt amazing and for once I didn't feel pain. It felt very nice.

If only I could feel this more often.

I took another swig of my lemonade looking around the lunch room again…

That's when I laid my eyes on all of them. I saw the girl from my English class sitting with four other people. All pale, all amazingly gorgeous. One was big, very muscular, He had brown almost black hair cropped short. He had topaz eyes like the small girl and was strikingly beautiful. His tall/big frame stood out from the rest but I moved my gaze to another. She was blond. She could have possibly been the most beautiful thing on the planet. Her golden locks fell as long as mine did in loose curls. She wore a tight red tank top and a jean mini skirt. It showed off her pale legs, any girl would kill for.

With the exception of me that is. I shook my head closing my eyes suddenly not hungry anymore.

That girl put any model to shame. I moved my eyes over to the other blond in the group. He was fairly tall, you could see he was muscular his long sleeve tight shirt fit him perfectly. He had golden eyes as well, I guess it ran in the family, He looked like he should be a teacher not a student, as well as the big brawny one.

Then I saw him. His hair was a unique bronze color and styled in a messy way. He looked like he would be the youngest of them all, maybe the most beautiful? I could see his face perfectly, He was staring at the wall, his lips were pressed into a hard line, he looked like he was concentrating. His light topaz eyes were hypnotizing. He wore a tan jacket, he was picking a granola bar to pieces with long pale fingers.

He looked like a Greek god. Not a high school student. His dark blue shirt fitted perfectly displaying his muscles as well. But I wasn't too fixated on that, his face was the most gorgeous thing I had ever seen… ever. I blinked and kept gawking at him, I new I shouldn't but I couldn't help it.

I looked back down at my notebook then back up at the bronze haired boy and got an idea,

I took my pencil and started to sketch. A rough sketch but a sketch none the less.

I had gotten his frame and his hair when he looked at me. My eyes widened and I felt my heart quicken.

I dropped my eyes to the table and took a deep breath. I really hope he didn't figure out that I was drawing him. That would look and sound like I was a creepy stalker and the embarrassment was overwhelming.

I sneaked a peek at him again, and he was still looking at me. A hint of frustration in his eyes,

I frowned now, he looked sort of mad. What the hell had I done wrong?

Insulted by this beautiful stranger I stood up grabbed my notebook, pencil and took my tray and walked over to the garbage can . I dumped it in, setting it on top and walked out the doors. I shook my head walking slowly to biology. I was almost there and the bell hadn't rang yet. I leaned up against a locker and slid down sitting with my hands on my knees.

What had happened in there? Why did that beautiful strange boy look at me with such frustration.

I didn't even utter one word, I didn't get it. I could feel the pain start to creep back into me as the numbness was wearing off. I thought It would last much longer than that…

I frowned again as I herd the cafeteria doors open. The small girl walked gracefully out of them down the hall to were I was. She looked at me and gave me a breath taking smile. But continued out, and through the other doors. I made a face and got up, heading into biology.

As I took my seat I was still puzzled. I hadn't felt emotion like that in a long time. Well to be perfectly honest with myself two years. Since my mother had left me.

What did this boy have that made my emotions go out of control, what did he hold over me?


End file.
